Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Who Are You? My 100 Things.

1. I have peed on my boots in the woods at work.
2. I once dated a guy that looked like Elvis. Vegas Elvis.
3. My knees are so scarred from childhood falls that they are the only part of my body that doesn't sunburn.
4. Before I started dating my husband, I was trying to grapple with the thought of never being a mother and had no idea how I was going to be okay with that.
5. I can't decide whether to dye my graying, once-red hair or just go white gracefully.
6. I am a horrible procrastinator when it comes to mailing things. I lived literally around the corner from a post office, yet would drive around with bills to mail in my car for weeks.
7. It's been so long since I have worn makeup that I opened my mascara on Saturday to find it had turned to crust. I still used it anyway. My eyeballs should be falling out any time now.
8. I own more CDs than any sane person should. But my brothers' collections trump mine hands down.
9. The first vinyl album I bought with my own money was Men at Work. Hello 80s!
10. Growing up in Pennsylvania, I always wanted a New England accent like my cousins.
11. I go to school with the nicest woman who happens to be Owen and Luke Wilson's cousin. My husband thought it would be amusing to share with her my hots for Owen.
12. I don't eat red meat, but detest tofu unless the bejeesus is fried out of it at an Asian restaurant. I can't get past the texture.
13. I am easily and continuously surprised by people's capacity to be mean.
14. I think the Chicken Dance ought to be outlawed.
15. I have had a bizarre collection of jobs in my life. "Inventory Specialist"=getting up in the middle of the night and counting how many bumper stickers Hot Topic has in their display case. "Director of Multiple Non-Profits"=Working 80 hours a week for a meager salary I have to raise myself. "After School Program Coordinator"=being shocked that 'kids today' (God, I hate that phrase) have little to no conflict resolution skills. "Deputy Town Clerk"=how I got this one, I'll never know, but it was the ride of my life.
16. My first undergraduate college went bankrupt after the president embezzled 2 billion dollars. And then proceeded to be hired by another small, liberal arts college in Pennsylvania that apparently didn't check references.
17. By training, I am an architectural technician, historic preservationist, architectural historian and archaeologist. And still can't find a decent job.
18. I am the only daughter in a family of four children. My oldest brother is a lawyer, my middle brother a director of golf at a swanky resort in Georgia, and my youngest brother is a medical doctor. Makes for interesting Thanksgiving table talk.
19. I cut my daughter's finger so badly while trimming her nails this weekend that it bled and bled and bled.
20. I obsess over a clean kitchen but can't manage to put my crap away that is strewn all over the house.
21. I am addicted to Shutterfly.
22. I feel guilty every time I blog because I could be using that time to do something more productive. I feel that way every time I take 5 minutes to do something self-indulgent. Like shaving my legs.
23. I can't believe you are still reading. I am utterly boring.
24. I'd give my left arm for a Dunkin' Donuts coffee on a rough day.
25. I have seen Barenaked Ladies in concert more times than I care to admit.
26. One of my goals my freshman year in college was to learn all the words to Billy Joel's We Didn't Start the Fire (sorry, Dad).
27. I am one of 4 redheads in my generation and none of our parents have red hair.
28. My husband and I are addicted to Lost.
29. I would like to kiss on the mouth the person who invented safety swabs. If it wasn't for them, I would have poked Millie in the brain multiple times by now.
30. I can't seem to turn off The Today Show.
31. When did Katie Couric turn into a shrew? Or was she always one and just hid it behind a perky, likeable facade?
32. Meredith Viera is a vast improvement.
33. My daughter likes the texture of my Carhartts.
34. I hope my daughter is the kind of girl who has use for Carhartts rather than stilettos, but she will be what she will be.
35. I can't whistle.
36. But I can roll my tongue.
37. I should be doing schoolwork right now. But I'm half-blogging and half-watching the premiere of The Riches. I love Eddie Izzard.
38. The worst thing about breastfeeding is having to sleep wearing a bra.
39. The worst thing about motherhood is cutting an infant's fingernails.
40. The worst thing about being married is not being able to watch Gilmore Girls without the obligatory eye roll from my husband.
41. If that's the worst part about my marriage, I am the luckiest woman alive. And I am, indeed. 42. If I could have any superpower, it would be to make people be able to feel other people's pain. Not for sadistic purposes but to increase empathy. Know how it actually feels to be in someone's shoes before you judge or call them wimps.
43. I started this list a month ago and I'm only on #43.
44. I have a job interview on Friday. Man, I need this job. Man, I WANT this job. Man, I am completely qualified for this job.
45. It's now a month and a half later, and I still haven't heard about #44.
46. I just read Crazy Bloggin' Canuck's 100 things list (http://crazybloggincanuck.blogspot.com/2006/06/crazy-bloggin-canuck-101.html) and it inspired me to try this again. Or, at least write a few every time I blog.
47. I bought my wedding dress on sale with a coupon at Filene's for $39. That's the kind of gal I am.
48. I'm not sure I am capable of getting my PhD at this point in my life.
49. And that makes me feel like a failure.
50. But, I only have one shot at raising my daughter.
51. And I refuse to fail at that.
52. I have a nephew who is 5 weeks younger than my daughter.
53. My fourth grade teacher, in front of the whole class, told me and another classmate of mine that if there was a fire, he and I would both die because we were too fat to fit out the casement windows. This from a woman built like a Weeble.
54. Twenty-seven years later, if she stepped in front of my car, I would likely run her down in the name of every kid who has been humiliated by their teacher.
55. The other kid died in a drunk driving accident when we were juniors in high school. Our fathers were good friends.
56. My dad was a volunteer firefighter at the time and answered the accident call. Now that I'm a parent I can start to understand the magnitude of what that must have been like for him.
57. I would retire to Nova Scotia given the chance.
58. I think there should be a law against vinyl siding.
59. The smell of warm weather in central Connecticut makes me miss the ocean like I can't even begin to describe.
60. I sobbed hysterically in the movie theater during What Dreams May Come.
61. My husband and I went through our marriage ceremony twice in two different countries.
62. The second time I carried fresh lupines that my husband cut from the side of the road on the way to the church.
63. I wanted to be Janis from The Muppet Show.
64. Part of me still wants to.
65. I like to tell people that my first concert was Tina Turner and Glenn Frey.
66. It was technically Captain and Tenille when I was about 6 with my parents and older brother.
67. My older brother denies it, too.
68. I had a Donny and Marie metal lunchbox as a kid.
69. And a Bee Gees Trapper Keeper in 3rd grade.
70. No accounting for taste.
71. However, I regularly raided my older brother's records and tapes consisting of much cooler artists.
72. I didn't know the Village People were gay until I was about 26 years old.
73. I thought people were booing Bruce Springsteen when I first heard his live stuff at about 9 years old.
74. I blew off a college class to attend a Steely Dan concert with scalped tickets. What a rebel.
75. I saw Bob Dylan in concert on the worst date of my life. He could barely stand up and if it wasn't for the band, no one would have been able to tell what he was singing. I was crushed. But that wasn't even close to the worst part of the evening.
76. I stood at a radio show festival squished among thousands of people in the hot sun for 12 hours once.
77. Without peeing once.
78. I was so dehydrated that my gum turned to powder.
79. It was totally worth it.
80. I'd never do it again.
81. I can't hear Macy Gray or The Coors without thinking about it.
82. I'm so proud of my best friend for surviving it with me.
83. She and I are regularly the oldest people at any given concert we attend.
84. The five shows I will have the DTs over during the summer are Lost, My Name is Earl, Ugly Betty, Desperate Housewives, and The Riches.
85. Only 15 more of these to go. I really can't believe you are still here.
86. My daughter has two teeth.
87. She is scared of paper crinkly loudly.
88. I cried the first time she was fed a bottle of breastmilk.
89. I was obsessed with the Boston Celtics in the mid-80s.
90. One of my favorite authors when I was young was Ezra Jack Keats.
91. I could still tell you where Snowy Day was found in the library.
92. I can't wait to read it to Millie. She got it for Christmas.
93. I love to bake.
94. People are regularly surprised by that.
95. I don't know why.
96. My husband is an excellent cook.
97. But, he hates doing the dishes.
98. My aunt and I have the exact same alarm clock.
99. I hate wearing daytime nursing bras because the straps never stay on my shoulders.
100. Whooooo hoooooo!!!!!!

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