ROXANNE

So, before I launch into what I was going to post this morning, may I just comment on the Grammies? Can you say STING? The POLICE? I am thinking about selling my mommy Subaru to the pawn shop on the corner to buy tickets to their reunion tour. Is that bad?

I think deep down I knew this all along, but was in denial that it would actually happen. There are a thousand things I thought I'd never do as a mother. I have done them all and then some.

Example #1: I own baby music. Now, I do own a very cool For the Kids, with Guster and BNL and Tom Waits and Sarah McLaughlin. The John Lithgow kids CD is so much fun. However, some very well-meaning relatives bought me other ones, ones that are made by very reputable baby product names. They make me want to rip my ears off to avoid ever having to listen again. One (who shall remain nameless so I don't offend those who think it's charming and sweet) is a compilation of traditional nursery rhymes and kids songs sung by, I can only imagine, a band of eunuchs. On crack. The worst part: Millie loves it. I feel the need to enculturate my daughter to the ways of the nursery rhyme and songs you are expected to sing in elementary school music class, but I just wish Bruce Springsteen would cover B-I-N-G-O.

Example #2: Co-sleeping. Me: "I'll NEVER sleep with my kids in my bed." That lasted for about 2 months until my back was so wrecked from falling asleep sitting up after/while nursing and basically "sleeping" like that for most of the nightmare of a night that represented our first four months. It wasn't out of sanctimony I said this, but out of concern that I'd squash her in my sleep. She has survived so far. I have dropped a few elbows on her in the middle of the night, but she seems unphased. The sleep thing is getting a little better. If only her tummy would cooperate, I think she'd go for 5 hours in a shot regularly. In the meantime, she waffles back and forth between her crib and our bed. I know, I know. Bad mom. She needs consistency.

Example #3: Be a pushover. Okay, in all honesty, I never kidded myself over this one. I knew I'd be a pushover. But that little face. I can't let her cry for long. Plus, now she has learned to put her arms up when she wants to be picked up. I'm such a sucker. She totally has my number already.

Example #4: Be the kind of parent that compulsively sends pictures to everyone she knows. As evidenced by the two pictures of Millie at the top of this post that have NOTHING to do with the post. I try to reign it in and limit it to my parents, my aunt and Millie's surrogate aunties. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. It's a sickness.

I could go on and on. I add to the list every day.

The Police reunion tour. I never thought I'd live to see the day.